Synopsis
As I sat down to prepare this first chapter, I thought to myself, “where would I begin? When did I realize that jealousy amongst girls and women was such a big problem? As I searched my mind, “bingo” it hit me. It started very early in life.
When I was about 15, I was walking down Kansas street in South Memphis to our neighborhood store. Three girls were approaching me, in the opposite direction and out of the clear blue sky, one of them hit me upside the head. It was one of me and three of them, so I did not fight back. I just kept walking seeing stars, but held my hand over my face where one of them had hit me until I made it back home.
At the age of 19, I finally realized there was something to this jealousy thing, but I did not realize just how jealousy takes over one’s judgment and even one’s perception of one’s self to make them act out on other people.
Wow, what memories. My reflections make me think it all just happened yesterday. You never forget how someone makes you feel.
The one thing that I mostly notice about people are their eyes. I notice the color, the shape, if they are little beety eyes or if they are big bug eyes. I notice if they are real or if they are masked by contacts.
The point is that God created our eyes, but many of us use them in inappropriateways without considering the importance of them.
As a female, I have noticed the eyes of many girls and women in a different light and it is not for the good.
I have seen women “look” at me in disgust when I may walk-up. Their eyes tell me that they don’t like me. Their eyes tell me that I have what they want-confidence, beauty, and favor. Their eyes speak to me letting me know that the love of Christ is not in their hearts.
God is not pleased with your displeasure of your sister, and you do not have a cause. Please do not blame it on the Pre-Menstrual Syndrome (“PMS”). I can relate to that. But, when I see the same sister who gives me the “evil eye” over a year every time she sees me, I beg to differ that she has PMS every time she sees me.
Girls, women, sisters-Wake up! You are asleep. You are wasting precious days, weeks, months and years focusing on the wrong things. Open the eyes that God has given you and bless that sister. You don’t have to know her. Common courtesy is to speak and acknowledge her presence at all times whether at the elevator or passing by walking on the street.
Chapter Three
Snake Tongue
The different comments never stopped until one day a cousin mentioned how skinny I was and I reacted by saying “ Just hope that you look as good as I do after three kids.” She never, ever said another word about my weight. I felt empowered! I felt great! Why would I continue to be around people who would insult who I am? I changed locations.
Certainly, there are many, many, many, instances of other women’s tongues skirming with Sheila Ann Lee Whalum on it, but there is no need to recount all of the jealous words. The bottom line is that it made me who I am today. It made me do better in life. To know the difference between mediocre and excellence was my best lesson.
Demons of the Mind
“You Might As Well Face It, You Are Addicted To Your Mind”The fact of the matter is, we are addicted to what our mind tells us and don’t realize that often times, demons show up in there which causes us to have the wrong mind.
The problem is that some of us follow the wrong mind. And that wrong mind leads us to the jealousy path. If it didn’t, we wouldn’t be so very jealous of our sisters who may enjoy certain attributes of their person such as beautiful hair, a beautiful shape, a beautiful face.
The biggest mind game is that we are never satisfied. We are so jealous of others success and don’t know why. Again, Apostle Paul says, “In whatever state you are in, learn to be content.” And most people are not content. We want more and more and more of stuff that we can’t afford. It is the Devil’s Game!!!
How many minds do you have? Come on think hard. If you have more than one, you need to get rid of them. But before you do, make sure you keep the right one.
It is such a terrible tragedy to see so many people jealous of others, gossiping about others, talking ugly about others, but then smiling in there faces, all the time wanting to take there place.
Don't ignore the spirit any longer- "Be Born" again Today! Renew your mind today. When you do that, you will have a new body and a new spirit.
God is waiting on You! He is giving you another chance.
Chapter Five
My Ears Are Open
There have been so many instances where I have heard someone talk about me as if I were not even in the room. They were talking as if I were less than them, or not on their perceived level.
Until a person gets totally secure in herself, only then will she stop listening to the other voices. Yes, even voices within yourself. Your old self is jealous of the new self that you are trying to become. But, you must do what you must do if you want to move pass this stronghold that is holding you back.
Body Language
I am so aware of the body language that I smile whenever I see it because I realize that she has some growing up to do-still.
Aching Heart
To prove my point, Jealousy has always been a part of my world. Therefore, when I was promoted to Deputy Director of Finance for the City of Memphis, it did not surprise me that some of the employees would be terribly upset. The jealous people could not take it. They called the local news and the radio stations to say all kinds of evil things about it. Apparently, they did not think that youcould be pretty and smart. A guy on the elevator even said that to me.
However, all of it was kind of funny because the local news called me a “Rising Star”. I was 45 years old, but they called me a rising star!
“X-treme Makeover: From the Inside Out”
What about us? God’s people. Our x-treme make-over should reflect God in all that we do. Has anybody outside of church looked at you and said, you know what, you sure do look different? Could they tell if you are holy or not by your lifestyle? Can they tell if you are righteous at all? Or do you just blend in with the crowd?
With this X-treme make-over, you are saying to God! I am ready to work for your kingdom. Matthew 7:21 says, not everyone that saith unto me Lord, Lord shall enter into the Kingdom of heaven-
But it goes on to say, but he that doeth the will of my father which is in heaven are those that will enter in.
Satan, is counting as I speak of the number of people who will be coming to his Hell Party. You do know that Hell is being expanded. Satan is getting ready!
Chapter Nine
Women of Faith
Now, I did leave off one thing- I never said I wanted to be a Preacher’s wife, a First Lady, but God said that is what I have destined for your life, so he made me that before I got all of the other stuff. I must say he tested my faith when our church went through a church split, but since he ordained it, I am so glad it happened. For more details, you can buy my first book- Destined to Be A Preacher’s Wife. I will say however, that God used me on June 4, 2000 in a way that I could not have imagined. Everything that I had learned from my mother, from my early days at Shady Grove Baptist Church, at Pleasant Grove Baptist Church in Sunset Arkansas was revealed that day. And, I am proud to say that my mother, Shady Grove Baptist Church, Pleasant Grove Baptist Church and the New Olivet received victory that day.
I am not saying you have to be a Preacher’s wife, but if you want to get rid of all of the issues that are causing distractions in your life, and be a woman of faith, where you can flow in the things of God and the things that you personally want out of life, you need to be hooked up with God, and with God’s people at a local church where the presence of God is realized.
Chapter Ten
I Got Myself Together, Cause I Got Somewhere To Go
There is a gospel song by Mary-Mary that is hot. It says “I got to get myself together cause I got some place to go.”
What about you?
As a young preacher’s wife, I saw that church folks would run over you if you let them, so I got an education: an undergraduate degree and a master’s degree, and now church folks want to hear what I got to say and my answer is I got myself together cause I got somewhere to go.
How do you expect to move forward when you keep looking back? To the past of childhood days; To the past of teenage years; To the past of how your family or friends treated you and it wasn’t so good. To the past of that low down church member or co-worker! Be a PRETTY WOMAN TOO!